Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Chuck Norris Facts

In my current state of mind, Chuck Norris Facts is my Website of the Month. Here's their Top Ten:
  1. Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
  2. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
  3. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
  5. There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
  6. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
  7. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
  8. Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
  9. Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.
  10. Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING


olidhar said...

so you reached.

# Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
my favourite, not least because it reminds me of calvin, who also tries.

Anonymous said...

yay. new post.

expiring_frog said...

@amrita: I rather like these too:

# When Chuck Norris throws a boomerang, the boomerang does not return because it is scared to come back.

# The crossing lights in Chuck Norris's home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian.

# Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.

expiring_frog said...

Ooh ooh, and this one too:

# Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

Aayush Puri said...

A couple of one that I still remember:
1. Chuck Norris has counted till infinity.......twice
2. Chuck Norris never asks who's you daddy......because he knows the answer!

Rapid I Movement said...

God said, "Let there be light"
Chuck Norris said, "Say please"

Anansi said...

And you're back!

Anansi said...

And you've disappeared again... Chuck Norris hijack?

Nishit said...

my favourite:

# Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
# Chuck Norris knows last digit of pi.

Anonymous said...

Hi ,

I was reading ur blog posts and found some of them to be very good.. u write well.. Why don't you popularize it more.. ur posts on ur blog ‘What a wonderful bird the frog are’ took my particular attention as some of them are interesting topics of mine too;

BTW I help out some ex-IIMA guys who with another batch mate run www.rambhai.com where you can post links to your most loved blog-posts. Rambhai was the chaiwala at IIMA and it is a site where users can themselves share links to blog posts etc and other can find and vote on them. The best make it to the homepage!

This way you can reach out to rambhai readers some of whom could become your ardent fans.. who knows.. :)


BangoNari said...

Besur Betal Betar abar kobe cholbe bhai? Amra je anekdin dhore apekkhay! :)

expiring_frog said...

@ray: Thank you v. much for your comments :). I'm afraid a) I really don't have the time these days to blog regularly, and b) I've never really been interested in publicizing it.

@bangonari: BBB ekhon kumbhokorner moto ghumochchhe. Er karon kichhuta jantrik (upojukto machine-er obhab) aar kichhuta shomoy-er obhab. Asha kori kono shomoy abar chalate parbo, khobor-er jonyo blog-ta majhe modhye dekhte theko.